Jackie 2, math, unemployment 0

Okay, okay so I didn't keep up with 365 project - but lets face it - we knew it was going to go down that way.

I am preparing for exams and with a week left of teaching I am beaming. I taught math. yes my dreaded subject is conquered and I feel so much better. Strike that off the "regrets" list. Jackie -1, Math - 0

Also this week I interviewed for a position 2nd semester at a new school ... and got it. Jackie -1, Unemployment- 0

This weekend should be filled with blogging since we have two nights planned out with two groups of friends that will ensure laughter and good times.

For now, I am trying to fight off this cold!

Marking will be the end of me.

If ever you wonder - "hey, why doesn't Jackie update as often as she used to" - not that I ever was a regular poster, or that you would even bother with such frivolous things.

Either way...below is the reason why I don't really get to do things I enjoy

marking, marking, marking and more marking. This is the aftermath of procrastination.

There is good news and bad news:

The good news is I finished AND was still able to do some other things I wanted : search for halloween costumes, laundry, clean the house AND finish watching the 3rd season of Mad Men.

The bad news is - I am collecting 2 other assignments this week.

It never ends.

The call

I didn't wait too long - a few hours and the call was received. I was offered a position for one semester at a wonderful school.

...and yes, it did include the math. I would start tomorrow (Wednesday).

On Wednesday I put on a casual, comfortable yet powerful outfit complete with my lucky sandals, ready to meet new people and start a new page. I arrived 10 minutes before the start time - not too keen and early, but just enough to say "I am professional". Apparently TOO professional - today was "breezy" and started "around" a time. I introduced myself to those around me, and as each new person entered, I was sure to continue my kind "hello, I'm Jackie, I'm new to the school" and each person would give a welcome followed by a "where are you coming from?" or "how long have you been an LTO?" (contract teacher). There were moments of "Jackie" very fun, lively telling a story or a joke and then there were other times of my shy, reserved self that would poke through.

"Teaching one math!? really!! you are brave!"

"you have a math background?" - as if they could see plainly on my face that not one stitch of my body enjoyed math.

each time I responded the same, almost as if I was asked about religion.

"I am believer of math but I am not a big practicer" people giggled at this - but it's true. I WANT to be able to do formulas, answer equations, graph but at a young age I told myself "I can't" and just gave up. Plain and simple. I am quite honest to those who ask - it is one of my regrets in life.

Now I can regain some of it - find a new passion in teaching it as well as learning it. I am older , I have gained more life experience so I can't help but think - will this be like that novel I read in grade 10 and hated - only to love at age 20.

Today at school was a bit different - the feeling of the new person began to resonate and each time I got nervous or scared I reminded myself of how I felt at my previous position both at the beginning of the year and then at the end. It is very comparable to a young child going to sleep-away camp for the first time, crying "I don't want to go!" only to beg to stay longer when it was over.

It will take time, as most things do.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

I try to pride myself on being a strong, confident woman but often I get tested - as we all do - and feel apart from my natural person.

In becoming a teacher there are dues to pay, some pass through easy, others have it more difficult. My own journey, although so far short, has only been tested by personal hurdles - a long 6 month battle with a terrible disease, that I inevitable won. (athankyou). Now, the waiting I have been doing is on the cusp of being squashed - a tentative job offer for one semester. A due to be paid - not a full year, just half.

This position has it's pro's and cons and one large, loaded statement of "Jackie the issue is that this position's schedule has one math course"

Living most my life as a storybook, movie or pop culture reference I immediately hear the music from the graveyard duel in "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly" - which if you haven't seen please click here for better reference and go to the 1.42 mark for the best part.

All I could utter was a meek "oh"

Math. My old, but faithful arch enemy. My biggest weakness. The largest hurdle I have yet to beat.

I humbly admitted my weakness and my trepidations with teaching the subject but also stated my unwillingness to let this opportunity pass. I then asked for some time, just half an hour to go through my resources in order to make a better decision. As soon as I put down the phone, I broke down crying and it must have been fate that Dave was working from home to not only console me but to put everything into perspective. After a quick consultation with a friend who teaches math I felt like I was putting together my own Ocean's 11. I had my team ready to help.

I put the call in, stated with pride that I could handle it, I have the resources, I have the dedication and effort to put forth a great course.

The end of the phone call, however, did not end with a congratulations but rather a "we will call you back later on today with the final outcome."

What? So no job? I got worked up to just wait some more.

So here I am, waiting, but hopefully not for long.