Summer Days...So CLOSE

This summer I want to do a lot, so I thought it would be best to publicly announce, to those reading at least, my amazing-super-awesome summer list.

So without further ado and in no particular order

- Paint the spare room

- Alphabetize my books

- Install stainless steel shelves in the kitchen

- Join a beach volleyball team Signed up - start in July, one game a week!

- learn how to row Hopefully getting signed up to start in July, once a week AND a Regatta!

- Paint the kitchen

- Paint all 3 bathrooms

- Extend the patio

- Frame the basement

- Complete the wedding scrapbook

- Make Europe scrapbook

- Tend to the garden

- Go visit Nicole in Kelowna

- Continue weight training 4-5 days a week

- All inclusive vacation with friends

- Read 4 books (minimum) Between July & August

- Take Kyla swimming

- Visit with Ivan, be the best summer Zia ever!

- Try a new reciepe at least ever week (one sweet, one savoury)

- Maintain the blog with photo evidence

- Get a job for September!

....

I am sure I will add to this - but I think it's quite a hefty start to an amazing summer!

I hope to revisit this list throughout the summer and then once again at the end to see how I measured up!

Tackle the world

Yesterday I did a big closet(s) clean-out. A little late spring cleaning. Feels great to purge my life of some unwanted baggage. This is a giant hurdle as I usually don't like to part from clothes since I don't have many but I decided to let go and be rid of all that "extra" stuff. I had piles of clothes of "still could fit" or "wish could fit" but as Stacey and Clinton would say - this does not help and only adds extra stress. Now I am still on my own path of finding what my body can look like free from disease and I want to accentuate this amazing change even if sometimes I wish I could take a few inches off here, loose a little there - but then again, who doesn't!

I got Dave in the mix since he is also doing some serious work to change his body and had many items to be rid of - plus some extras that I felt MUST go. Now the closets are clear, organized and we have 2 Costco bags of clothes along with a few big tickets items for re-sell.

I am trying to be a little be more productive than reactionary. I want to be able to do more, accomplish more without all that "I would really like too". Even today I came home and tackled a few items off my to do list in a matter of 20 minutes. Now with them crossed off I feel like I could tackle any hurdle - perhaps even this stack of essays in front of me...or maybe I could so something else.

Keep things positive

It's early Friday evening - I just finished a crazy Friday workout with a trainer where we flipped tires, pulled weights the size of me and did too many push-ups that I lost count.

I am red faced and sweaty but that is exactly what I needed. I feel like I have been on a roller coaster since last weekend - with so many real amazing things happening to friends this past weekend (can't talk about it just yet) AND all the fake but seemingly all too real season finales. My heart can't keep up.

But on a funnier note - Mandy Moore was on the season finale of Grey's and of all things she is in for it's her second stage of reversal surgery. Which is what I will be doing some time in the future. I laughed when it was announced why she was there. She made jokes about her colostomy bag, and even though I have an ileostomy(slight difference in the gross factor) I could still sympathize and laugh with her while others would be grossed out. She did mention how gross it was which made me slightly frustrated, I would have hoped that she would continue her light humor to say "beats cancer/dying/being sick all the time!" but she didn't.

A friend of mine who also has an ileostomy e-mailed me to say how funny Mandy was and how I was probably the same way in the hospital - making jokes, trying to make the surgeons and doctors laugh. It is true - when I was having a good day, that was my goal. Doctors need a light side to their day - especially those specializing in the gastric system.

It was a good reminder to laugh, at everything, keep things positive. With so many things going wrong or being out of my control I am trying to remind myself that I have gotten through worse and I am still here.

So now on Friday night, after a great workout, endorphins pumping and long list of things to do I am ready for it.

Round Two Flu...FIGHT

With all my jokes aside, this flu is kicking my but!

Dave has been an amazing help and his line is always: "in sickness and in health". He has been my saving grace. Making soup, keeping things neat and clean (for me this is actually a big focus while I am sick) getting me juice and medicine. What a trooper! As my Nanna would say "che bello."

Thursday I felt okay - not great - just well enough to go to work, after a few blunders and mixed up things I should have clued in that I was indeed not well enough yet. Damn you stubborn gene! That night I ran some errands, ate an actual meal - first in a few days - and got to bed around 11. My dad's voice kept entering my head "you are always in a rush!" Good warning but as usual it fell on deaf ears.

At 2am I woke up suddenly with that unmistakable feeling in my stomach. I took one gravol and for every 40 minutes I felt the same cycle of "oh no I am going to be sick..." and then...nothing. The cycle continued until, from bed, Dave sharply instructed "you are NOT going to work today". I still insisted I was fine but by 6am I gave in and my stubborn gene subsided. I had a bunch of things to do outside of my classroom so in between my lovely retching I composed a to do list, as well as a bag of items needed for the day.

BUT - how to get it there. Ah, there's the rub.

I was in no position to be driving. Dave had a conference call - and by this time he made it known that he too was feeling under the weather. I thought of a few people in my area that I could call and ask to pick up the items but then refrained as I didn't want to be a burden. Now...who would be cray enough to pick these items up and drop them off for me without thinking I am crazy to do this while sick.

One word - mommy.

Yes. If there is one thing my mother is it's selfless. I called her and explained the situation and she immediately offered her help. "No problem! I can come and pick it up and drop it off for you!". Tears filled my eyes - no joke, they actually did. I wish I could say that this is the first time she has done something like this, but then I would be lying.

A while later I was in bed, dozing in and out of a gravol induced coma - I laugh at the label "may cause drowsiness", understatement of the century - when I heard an unmistakable voice below - my own angel with red acrylic nails, and a misplaced hair clip. She greeted Dave and the cat with the same loving voice. I heard her climb the stairs and quietly open the door to say the words she has repeated too many times...

"Hi Bella!"

This scene was all to familiar but in a way very comforting. Always there for the smallest of things without any thought or hesitation.... But more on my mother on Sunday. (Stay tuned!)

The rest of the day was a blur of sleeping, coughing, stuffed nose, upset stomach and more sleeping. I would start to watch a movie and then wake up to credits. Now at almost 10 pm I fid myself wide awake, with some energy and my first reaction is - I should start the laundry - but I breathe, I relax, and instead sit in front of my computer. After all - what is the rush! - see Ba, I do listen to you!

sick days...

With a red, stuffed/runny nose, sore throat and slight fever it is clear that I am battling some sort of cold/flu bug.

What started as potential food poisoning has turned out to actually be just a cold. Interesting.

I come from a family of doctors - not really, but they all feel qualified to diagnose with the help of the internet or old wives tales. On Sunday night as we celebrated the birth of my mother (blog to follow on that later) I kept saying how I felt "off".

"is it your stomach?", "have you pooped?", "did you drink enough water?", "maybe it was the butternut squash, too fibrous."

"no. yes. yes. no - geez everyone chill out I just feel 'blah'". That night both Dave and I had stomach aches leaving Monday as a sick day. It was revealed that the "real cream" strawberry shortcake might be the culprit. I was up early on Monday morning and decided that I had to deliver the birthday cake reserved for my friend/mentor Anne-Marie. No one needs a belated-belated birthday cake. I spent the rest of the day in bed, as I am now, with my laptop and plenty of internet randomness followed by some sleep. My throat began to throb and my nose became runny. Interesting new development. My team of doctors must be notified - their response "oh make sure you get plenty of fluids and rest" - oh really!?! I was planning on running that 5K!

As lame brained as I thought the advice was - I should have listened better.

Tuesday morning 2:30 am - can't sleep. Throat feels like daggers, can only breathe out of one nostril. Too hot, but without blankets, too cold. I get up. Straighten my hair. I know what you are thinking - WHY? - I thought I would make use of being awake and take care of some of the things I needed to get done after my 5:40 wake up call. This way I could post pone it to 6:30 without guilt. At 3am I leave to get Buckley's and orange juice at the local gas station - the man looks at me oddly, as if I am the first person to buy these items at 3am. I get back to sleep at 4, and the alarm wake me at 6:30.

I get to school and feel overwhelmed - so many things to take care of, there was an error when I imputed my absence yesterday causing some trouble - I feel guilty. Student Council needs me for 18 things, I need to prep my classes. By my first class I am wiped and an hour later after sweating through my shirt I think "hmm...do I have a fever?"

Pale faced I get the rest of my classes covered and on my way out face the usual "feel better" and "you look sick! You should go home".

I cry on the way home. Like I said, I hate being sick and this time it's even more emotional.

This was taken last year just 2 days ago.... at 7:35 in the morning - Mt. Sinai

I laugh at this because at this point - I was just bored, I was in hospital but was just being monitored, they were WAITING for something to happen so they could react rather than just prevent! I would be in pain everyday but nothing could be done...something had to happen first. Funny how that works....

I don't want to relive/rehash the past but in a year it's amazing that now I am dealing with just plain old common colds.

Even though I am hot/achy and can't breathe out of my nose... I would still stick with this over last year....

Now my giant starbucks tumbler comes in handy as both a very large container for cold tea AND a fantastic cold compress....

Urgh. I hate being sick....